Thursday, 29 December 2011

Liz Jones: Rant 4

So, it has happened again.  I have come into work after a Christmas party last night; I overslept, I am tired and I have the worst hangover ever, then I find Liz Jones has spouted another load of mouth waste into the world wide web.  If I wasn’t so bored at work I wouldn’t have read it but I did and I am sorry.

Two new articles this time, the first was a big old list of the best dressed women this year.  Read the full thing HERE.  Same format, as always:

“Our style guru’s gongs for the most iconic outfits of 2011This is only the headline and it annoyed me.  Liz Jones, Style Guru?  She’s skint, has a face like a load of matchsticks in a bin liner and all she does is harp on about herself.  This is going to be about as interesting as my tube ride to work this morning...

Pippa Middleton – Alexander McQueen (THAT Bridesmaid dress) – Pippa’s derriere, clad in McQueen, caused an online furore and to my mind slightly overshadowed the LESS VIOLENTLY TANNED KATE – Where do I even begin with this?  So you think that Pippa’s ass overshadowed the FUTURE QUEEN OF ENGLAND’S WEDDING DAY?  Even if Pippa had got out of that cab dressed like Elmo from Sesame Street, gurning her face off, it wouldn’t have overshadowed Kate.  I don’t think i’d call this ‘iconic’, I think I would call it all the men in the world having a perv over Pippa online and the media picking up on it.  Yeah blah blah blah everyone went mental about her ass but really?  Also I wouldn’t call Pippa ‘violently tanned’ (boring, plain, mouse-like maybe) but then again I am from Essex so anything less than wotsit coloured is pale...

“Lady Gaga – Hussein Chalayan – Not a dress exactly, but the Hussein Chalayan egg she wore to the Grammy’s in February ” – Yeah, you know when Gaga rolled up in that Egg at the Grammy’s, being all mental and stuff?  Well when she got out that egg she was wearing some PVC raincoat with a matching belly top and thigh slit maxi skirt.  I don’t think this is iconic, I think this is absolutely f*cking ridiculous, along with Liz Jones’ entire being. 

“Jennifer Lopez – “this is not so much a dress, more of a body stocking covering Jen’s bits and bobs.  I imagine she was trying to let Marc Anthony know what he was missing.  Some magazines asked if this was ‘age appropriate’ – She is JENNIFER LOPEZ, who cares how old she is?” – Right.  Liz Jones you tool, it is NOT a dress, it IS a body stocking and it is horrific.  It’s true that it doesn’t matter how old she is, because any girl of any age wearing this spangled condom would look like they belonged in a home.  If I was EVER wearing a disco Earthworm Jim outfit and I ran into my Ex I would throw myself in front of the nearest bus.  Also, you seem to think that because she is J-LO she can wear whatever she wants, but she can’t.  If Jones EVER decides she can wear whatever she wants, no matter how scantily clad, I would like to be taken to Primark and shot in the face please.

Luckily enough the article ended there, I can only assume it’s because she had some sort of episode before she could continue writing it.  So now we’ll move onto the next article, entitled “Women at their peak at 52?  On their knees more like!” – wheeey!  Oh I forgot, you don’t know how to be funny.  What a shame.  Read the whole thing HERE but i’ll warn you now, I couldn’t be bothered to read to the end.

This was according to a survey of 3,000 women conducted by, of all companies, Kellogs" - Erm, do you have an issue with cereal?  What's the deal with that?  Shut up.  

The cereal maker roped in a psychologist to add, ahem, weight to their findings” - Confirmed, she doesn't know how to be funny.  

(Kellog’s wrote: A woman in her 50’s knows who she is, what her strengths and values are as well as her weaknesses and failings) Jones:  “just re read that initial statement:  ‘weaknesses’, ‘failings’, ‘accepting’, ‘more time for yourself’ – which translates as ‘loneliness’erm, hold up...  Since when does weaknesses, failings, accepting and more time for yourself equal loneliness?  I have a weakness for Prosecco, but I can pretty much guarantee I am not lonely when I am drinking it.  One of my failings is that I worry too much – try and merge that with being lonely?  Sometimes I think Jones just writes lots of different words on teeeeeny tiny bits of paper throughout the day, and then just before she goes to bed she throws them all up in the air and whichever order they land in, that’s her article.

 “All that psycho-babble reads roughly thus:  there is nothing more unappealing and pointless than a woman over 50 on a diet.  So bugger off and crochet armchair covers to be worn thin as you sit there, waiting for a telephone call from a member of the ungrateful brood who couldn’t wait to fly your nest” – Wow, this is awkward.  So, erm, can anyone say BITTER?  Christ she might as well just be a massive lemon sitting there, withering away like the dried up old crust wagon she is.  Jones, we all know you didn’t successfully steal someone’s sperm (although you tried) and we all know that your husband despised you as much as everyone else so he ‘flew the nest too’ – GET OVER IT!

I always become irate when I see these so-called role models held up as beacons.  They are not happy and beautiful because they are 52, they are these things because they have money” – I have never known someone to be so bloody materialistic.  Granted, they might not be happy because they are 52, BUT i’d bet they are happy because they have a family and people that love them and they AREN’T ACTUAL HOBBITS.

Despite the facelift I was lucky enough to afford earlier this year (snort) I often feel like that beautiful siren in an early Star Trek episode, the one Kirk fell in love with only to find she turned in an instant into an old crone” – for once I agree with the end of this statement.  The only unfortunate thing for Jones is that with a personality disorder as severe as hers, there is no way she was ever beautiful.

The problem was that men, sniffing our liberation, thought they could leave us and be with younger versions, and we would be ok” – Right, first up, men can leave you.  If you are as bat sh*t crazy as you make out, then they WILL leave you.  Secondly, if a man DOES leave you, you will be ok?  You don’t just walk down the street and melt, or fade into existence without a man?  You really need to get some friends Jones.

The biggest nail in our coffin has been the fact our parents were saved by advances in medicine and have therefore also become dependent for decades longer than expected” – Well, I think Jones’ parents are complete arseholes for staying alive, I mean why couldn’t they just DIE so she didn’t have to waste time and money going to visit them and see them and buy things for them at Christmas.  Bloody pricks.

You can take the pill, but you can’t abort a parentThat is genuinely in this article.  She wrote that.  I promise she really wrote that, it wasn’t me.

At this point, for the first time ever, I have stopped reading.  I cannot be bothered with Jones and the total tripe that comes out of her mouth.  Jones doesn’t deserve fame, notoriety and popularity for writing this crap.  She doesn’t deserve a partner, or parents or friends, because all she does is write articles about how much of a hindrance they are to her life.  She can’t even write, as this article is littered with grammatical errors.  The whole thing just makes my want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon – LOOK AT HER:

Managing the change: Liz, aged 53 1/4, says that famous 50-somethings make her irate

Thursday, 22 December 2011

A Year in the Life of Morsh

At the start of 2011 I thought this year was going to be rubbish.  Although I had my friends, I split with my boyfriend at the beginning of November so wasn’t at my happiest on the 1st January 2011.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have been fine – Wanna know why?  Because 2011 was definitely one of the greatest years of my life so far.  To celebrate the end of such an awesome year and to commemorate my 100th blog post, I have worked on a blog post that makes ME happy.  I love blogging but I write about subjects I think will be of interest to others, not just things that I like.  This blog post is all about me and my friends and although it might not interest you, I want to have a post that I can look back on and remember all the good times.  2011 was the year I finally got a tan.  The year I went out so much I got ill.  The year I spent at least 85% of my annual wage on alcohol.  These are all my memories of 2011, and i’m putting them here so you can share them with me...

January & February – I am going to leave these out, as nothing good ever happens in Jan/Feb and I was probably still wallowing in self pity a bit...

On the 14th March I started my new job.  I had been wanting a new job for years, and finally secured a lovely new role with better pay in the middle of the West End of London.  I should have known then that this year was just going to get better and better.  There were a few occasions this month, most notably the birthdays of two of my best friends, Mailer and Bano.  Mailer’s birthday was celebrated in style at a bar local to us called Nu Bar.  We decided to pool our money and get a booth (you basically pay £400 for a booth and you get a private area, waiter service and £400 worth of alcohol).  We figured as there were about 10 of us and we normally spend £40 or more on a night out this would be a good use of our money.  This night was PURE CARNAGE.  We all drunk way too much and went absolutely mental (see pictures). 

All out for the Queen Mailers birthday

Drink anyone?

Charlie, myself and Boo - Drunk!

This is where my year started to get busy.  April saw the likes of Marathon Day and plenty of sunshine.  Marathon Day is the day of the year where we all converge on Canary Wharf and spend the whole day drinking and watching the mentalists run past.  I even indulged in part of the marathon myself with my friend Paul J  After that we went and sat by the river and had dinner and drinks in the sunshine – was a lovely day J

Enjoying the cider on Marathon Day!

Partaking in the Marathon briefly - I bet the woman behind hated us!

Drinks by the river <3
Following this, the weather turned absolutely scorchio and my parents were away so I decided to hold a BBQ at mine.  All my friends came over and we ended up having a bit of a drunken session which resulted in us attempting to play rounders in my garden! 


Rounders anyone?

Mmmm sausage
The most notable occasion for me this month was my friend Kayley’s birthday, right at the end of April.  We all went out for a nice civilised meal, and then the plan was to go to a nearby bar afterwards.  I wasn’t really feeling myself so although had been drinking, decided to go home.  En route home I stopped at a bar with my friend Emma to meet her boyfriend Christian and some of his mates.  Next thing I know, it’s morning and I have a feeling something went epically wrong on my way home.  It turns out as soon as I stepped outside the pub to go home the fresh air must have hit me and I went from sober to MASH UP within about 3 seconds.  Went and met Christian and his friends at another bar and carried on drinking until I was unable to speak, stand or function.  Turns out I ended up pulling one of my friends boyfriends friends and going back to his house that night – I still cringe now thinking about the state I must have been in!!  Luckily there are no pictures of this particular event...

Me and Charlie, just before things went rapidly downhill for me

Georgia, Kayley (birthday girl) Jo and Charlie

Nu Bar <3

May was the month I was dreading, mainly because of the beginning.  Ever since I had split with my ex I was wondering what I was going to do with myself when most of my friends went to Vegas for 10 days and I didn’t go as I couldn’t get the time off work when they booked it.  Luckily enough one of my best friends Kayley wasn’t going either, so I spent the weekend with her.  We went shopping, bought LOADS of sweets and food and went back to hers that night for a Twilight marathon.  I ended up going into a food coma – I had eaten so much salt popcorn I had an irregular heartbeat and Kayley started shouting at me to put the food down.  We laughed so much I was nearly sick in her bed, and the weekend where I thought I would be upset and lonely turned into one of the funniest weekends I had ever spent with her.  That weekend is one of my fondest memories with Kayley J 

Fast forward and the girls are back from Vegas.  My friend Jo had her birthday when they were in Vegas, but when they got back we went to Laser Warfare to celebrate it all together.  Laser Warfare is basically the girls version of paintball, exactly the same but using lasers instead of paintballs.  That evening was so funny – we were covered in dirt and mud and throwing ourselves all over the forest trying to shoot each other.  We then went back to Jo’s and she had laid on an epic buffet complete with cupcakes (Jo always makes cupcakes for every occasion, and they are AMAZING!) and party food and jelly and ice cream - unfortunately for Jo's front room, we decided to have a jelly fight and it ended up EVERYWHERE.  Jo's mum even found some on the wall about 2 weeks after this party! 

Action girls!

Me and the birthday girl!


Fast forward to the week following and we all went out to a local bar called the Brickyard to celebrate my friend Boo’s birthday.  Lots of alcohol, lots of banter and epic amounts of mess to celebrate her birthday in style The night ended with Jo stealing a bottle of rum from the table and waking up with it in bed next to her the next morning.  This was going to be a recurring theme for Jo throughout the year!!!

Me and the birthday girl!

The biggest event in June for us was attending Royal Ascot.  It was also my friend Emma’s birthday on the same day, so we wanted to celebrate in style.  I spent £200 of my first pay packet from my new job on an amazing dress from Monsoon – we paid £100 to go with a local bar (Mojoes) where we got coach ride there, free alcohol the whole way, picnic and champagne once we were there, entry into Ascot, coach ride and sh*te loads of alcohol on the way home and entry into Mojoes on our return.  It rained SO much that day, I still haven’t got my dress dry cleaned and it’s covered in mud!  I remember getting upset as the coach stopped about half hour after we left in the morning and I got off to have a cigarette and burnt a hole in my dress – I hadn’t even got to Ascot yet and my dress was ruined!  I drank through the pain though and we ended up having an awesome day.  We met a group of boys who were also on the coach who we still stay in contact with now which is really nice - we were all so drunk when we got back to the bar at the end of the night, Jo had been vomming in the coach on the way home anyway – we were owning the place, running around with no shoes on, standing on chairs and dancing our asses off till the early hours – Ascot was one of my favourite days of the year J 

Charlie, me and Emma, the birthday girl

Can anyone say HAMMERED?

It all started off so well!
The end of June signalled my friend Dan’s birthday, and he hosted a BBQ in his back garden.  The weather was AMAZING this weekend and we all sat around sunbathing, eating and drinking until late at night.  This BBQ was where I first met the Rejam boys (more about these awesome lads later) and met my first proper crush since my ex, Eddie.  I love thinking back to this day, it was so nice and relaxed.  Just loads of fun with some of my best friends J

Party at Dan's!

Group photo!

Chilling out & loving life!
The last day of June was also the day I went to see Arcade Fire at Hyde Park with my friend Edgley.  I have loved Arcade Fire for yonks, and I was SO EXCITED for this day!  It was lovely, we went up to London early and had a nice stroll along the South Bank.  We sat in the manmade beach, went into the Udderbelly for a drink and then early afternoon walked from the South Bank to Hyde Park.  We went on a bit of a sightseeing tour, past the London Eye to watch the performers, along Tower Bridge (where I planked!) along to the Houses of Parliament, down towards Trafalgar Square, up to Buckingham Palace and through Green Park.  We had pictures taken with Policemen, Buckingham Palace Guards, celebrities, everyone!  Once we got to Hyde Park we spent most of our time getting hammered in the Jaeger truck – very fond memories of this day!

Being a nob outside the Houses of Parliment

Edgley and the fit Policeman

Win Butler <3

Edgley and I <3

I KNEW from this start this month was going to be epic.  The first day of July (the day after Arcade fire) I woke up with a banging headache and a full agenda.  I was going to O2 Wireless festival with a few of my friends.  I remember meeting the girls on the platform of Leytonstone station, throwing up into a bin as they got off the train.  I thought I wouldn’t last the day and it would be horrible. I’d be hot and tired and just want to die.  Little did I know this would end up being one of my favourite days of the year!  We saw various acts, although the Headliners were the Black Eyed Peas and I wasn’t really into them and didn’t think they’d be any good.  My friend Mailer spied a boy she liked the look of, and as I had decided to plough through the hangover by continuing to drink I decided to go over and tell the boy she liked him.  The rest of the day was spent getting drunker and drunker with the boys Dan, Tom and Joe and having TOTAL bants – my favourite part of the day was us all totally having it to the BEP, all dancing around and going mental as the sun was going down.  I couldn’t have asked for that day to be any better!!

The second day of July was spent driving to my sisters and then driving to Milton Keynes to see Foo Fighters at the Milton Keynes bowl.  Again, another amazing day, another amazing gig.  Watching Dave Grohl perform his ass off as the sun went down on another beautiful summer day was the stuff of dreams.  I love going to gigs with my sister anyway, and as you all probably know I love Dave Grohl more than life itself, so this day was perfect for me J  Lots of banter, lots of fun and another awesome day with some of my most favourite people.  That weekend is definitely one of my favourite weekends of the year J 

Me and my lovely sister

Next event was supposedly just a quite night out to Faces, our local club, but ended up with us all hammered and me walking around with a full eyeliner beard and moustache on my face for 2 hours, as drawn by the lovely Jo - she blacked her own teeth out, and we were walking around talking to people that clearly thought we were mental!  The boys we were with thought this was HILARIOUS!  This night produced some of the funniest, messiest pictures of me and my friends and they still have me crying with laughter till this day!! 

Next in July, I attended my first ever Rejam.  Rejam is basically a club night/radio show that the boys from Dan’s BBQ run.  I LOVE Rejam and this was my first taste of it!  Held in a converted public toilet in the middle of Shoreditch, the night was spent raving and sweating and inhaling laughing gas from balloons and bantering with my friends J  Without going into too much detail, this was also the night I totally manned up.  Although the situation didn’t work out as planned, I was immensely proud of myself and proved to myself that I do have some balls! 

This fabulous month ended with one of my best friends birthdays, my friend Charlie.  We had arranged to go to a club in Brentwood called Sugar Hut.  We got all glammed up, jumped in cabs and thanks to The Only Way is Essex, spent the best part of 45 minutes queuing to get in.  We cut our losses and contacted the fabulous manager at our local bar (Nu Bar) and he made up a special ‘area’ for us to enjoy Charlie’s birthday - Charlie and Adam are BAR FRIENDS *thumbs up*  Another awesome night to remember, and another messy night in Nu Bar – this was going to become a bit of a recurring theme this year ;)

Me, Charlie, Jo and Boo

Faye, Me, Emma, Charlie, Keira, Kayley, Boo, Jo & Hollie <3

Drunk birthday girl!

The busiest month for me, and my most favourite month of the whole year.  It started off with our annual pilgrimage to the White Isle, the wonderful Island Ibiza J  The things I could tell you about this holiday!  We arrived at 11pm at night, ran to our hotel, threw our suitcases on the floor, got changed and headed straight to Pacha.  It was SO HOT we must have all lost about 3 stone through sweating and pure raving, and the night ended with my friend Jo being rescued by Pacha SOS and having a lump of metal pulled out of her foot, while my other friend Keira ‘got too hot’ and passed out, leaving to me drag her out of the club.  The rest of the holiday passed by in a blur of banter, planking, drinking and sunbathing, but it was honestly one of the greatest holidays i’ve ever had.  My friend Keira had hair extensions in that she spent the whole week ripping out 1 by 1 and leaving all over the island, they were literally ALL OVER our room - she even ripped them out in Space and was throwing them at random pople!  Jo put Keira’s fake fringe (YES, FAKE FRINGE) in and looked like an Iranian cleaner!  We spent the rest of the holiday calling her Magda!  The island was also filled with huge muscly men showing off, and we referred to those as ‘roids’ – we got a lot of banter from the looky looky men on the beach too, Keira spent most of the sunbathing time talking to them and asking them if they were friends with Akon!  The memories I have from Ibiza I will remember forever.  We also met some boys out there, and we still keep in touch with one of them now (hi Jamie!) 

Keira preparing for Pacha on the plane! Nice face Mailer...

Space <3

Zoo project

Epic plank at Zoo Project

Beautiful ladies in Space


Keira moulting
Back from Ibiza and the following weekend was my birthday.  I wanted to keep things easy as we were all skint from Ibiza, so booked the infamous booth at Nu Bar that we had for Mailers birthday back in March.  I was spray tanned to within an inch of my life (after this day my new nickname was to be 'Ronnie Ronseal' due to the stained wood effect my skin had) and I was on a mission.  This event did not disappoint, anyone would have thought it was my 21st the way I was acting!  Everyone got horrifically drunk again!  We were all acting like total animals, I was planking on the floor with people walking over my back and I ended up in the car park out the back of the bar throwing up into a bin bag.  My cousin came out to celebrate with me, and it was the first time he had seen me drinking (bless him).  He was trying to get in a cab at the end of the night but I was begging him not to go as he was ‘the closest thing I had to my mum’ and I made him stay and hold my hand as I vommed into said binbag – seriously hammered.  What a night! 

Me looking like a huge orange giant

The girls <3


Me and Dan, who christened me 'Ronnie Ronseal'
I had a week to recover, and then the next weekend that followed was V Festival.  I didn’t camp, I only live about 20 minutes from the Chelmsford site so Charlie and I stayed at mine each night.  Another epic weekend, seeing some of my favourite bands and spending it with my V family J  The Saturday was awesome, I went with my friends Charlie and Faye and we met Jo, Boo, Boo’s boyfriend Dan, Jo’s brother Paul and our friends Dan and Matt up there.  The weather was a bit dubious but we still managed to have a great time!  The Sunday was the best day.  As Dan and Matt are a couple they insisted we go to watch The Saturdays on the Sunday.  I wasn’t too fussed about them but we all got inside the tent and went mental – that hour spent watching The Saturdays with those boys was probably the funniest hour of the whole weekend, and considering how much fun the whole festival was that’s really saying something! 

Cup wanker Paul!

The tache made a come back!

V Fam <3


So happy watching The Saturdays with Dan and a 'tache!

The month ended with SW4 festival on Bank Holiday weekend.  Raving in a tent, going on the waltzers, vomming in an industrial sized bin and losing our friend Jamie who was wearing the same outfit as 75% of the other boys there.  Things wound up with me and my friend Dan staying at Jo’s house, eating pizza and attempting to watch The Land before Time on dvd.  August was the month dreams are made of. 

The Waltzer made me vom


The middle of September saw us celebrate Charlie’s dads’ 50th.  Throughout this whole year I have practically lived at Charlie’s, what with my parents moving away from where I grew up and me living a good 30 minute cab journey from ANYWHERE.  Charlie’s dad Mark invited Jo and I to his birthday party as we spend so much time at their house anyway and it was an awesome night.  Charlie’s brother bought some of his friends too, and we all dressed up and sat around drinking.  Mark loves that I plank everywhere, and has started doing it himself so we decided to go a step further and try a planking waffle – 3 people on the bottom, 3 people laying the opposite way on top of them, and then 3 people on top of them – we just about managed it, although a few people got hurt in the process!  Mark takes great pride in his garden and NO ONE is allowed to step on the grass, so we had a few cheeky pictures taken flouting the rules - I even got swung over it!

Still not touching the grass!


Charlie and her dad, Mark

The end of September was all about Keira’s birthday.  We went to a club near my house (surprisingly!) called 195.  We had a table booked, the same sort of thing as the booth in Nu Bar where we have an area and an allocation of alcohol, and once again we all got smashed.  By the end of the night Charlie had vommed in the sink and clogged it up and I HAD TO PUT MY HAND IN IT TO UNCLOG IT!!!  Keira could barely stand, I got a cab home with Emma and Hollie and was so drunk I didn’t even know Hollie was in the cab with us... Poor Jo had to look after Charlie and Keira alone and they all ended up throwing up outside and falling over - Jo to the rescue!  it was a classic night, full of great memories!


Early October one of our friends Si told us about a club night he was helping out in Shoreditch called Nostalgia.  Basically held at McQueens, they play lots of old house music.  Si told us he had a table adn some of his mates were going and we should go down.  We obliged, and it was one of the most drunken nights ever.  We met Si’s friends, I had yet another beard drawn on my face along with Ross, and we were necking vodka like it was going out of fashion.  Charlie met a French man called Adrien and Jo met a French man called Raphael, and we spent most of the night shouting "BONJOUR!" and "AU BORD DE LA MER" at them and howling with laughter- They clearly thought we were retarded.  Jo came outside with me and sat on a motorbike and made the alarm go off - all of a sudden some bouncer the size of the bloke out the Green Mile came running over and was like "WHO SAT ON MY BIKE?" and we all ran away and hid for about 10 mins!  I could see Jo hiding and absolutely pissing herself laughing, but if that bouncer had caught us we would have definitely been kicked out!  We managed to sneak back in and take some more awful pictures, some of which should be BURNT!  After a brief stop at 24 hour Mcdonalds, I got in at 4am the next morning, and felt like i’d been hit by a truck the next day – all signs of a good night!

October also marked the second Rejam.  Held at a different location, this one was bigger, better and they even managed to pull in Andrew Grant of DC10 fame to headline!  Lots of times with Jo, Charlie, Dan and the Rejam boys I actually wrote an entire blog post about how amazing this night was, and you can see it HERE

The end of October was marked by Charlie, Jo and I attending Britain and Irelands Next Top Model Live.  I wanted to go to get some ideas for my blog, things to review etc and it was a really good day.  We got to meet the Dreamboys (the orangest people in the entire world) and went to the fashion show!   Had an awesome day and then rushed home from there to get ready for my first Garage Night at Nu Bar – music was awesome, it was held in my favourite bar and Mc Creed was making a special appearance – what’s not to love?  I even got a picture with him, and I assure you my 16 year old self was FREAKING OUT!


Another gig, this time Charlie and I went to see Red Hot Chili Peppers with our friends Lauren and Joe.  The gig was amazing, and Anthony Keidis is still fit even though he looks quite old now :/  They changed the set list slightly each night (they had been at the O2 all week) and Charlie and I were chuffed to bits when they sang “Charlie” – Charles likes to pretend the song is about her, and not his relationship with hard drugs haha!

Another couple of birthdays this month.  Georgia’s birthday kick started proceedings with a table at Faces nightclub.  Lots of alcohol consumed and giant amounts of heartbreak when we learned our favourite late night Chinese restaurant Chinatown was closed for refurbishment – many a night has been ended with us slumped over a table at Chinatown, or vomming in the toilets, as you can see from the pictures!! 

Next up was Faye’s birthday.  Again, another birthday, another night at Faces.  Pre drinks at Faye’s with Mailers new wig and then onto the main event.  The night was a random one, but again very alcohol fuelled.  I am wondering if my new years resolution should be to stop drinking?


In November we got some bad news about one of our friends, Nicky Morgan.  He was on a night out and somehow got caught up in a fight which lead to him being pushed over and left paralysed.  We were all really upset when we heard about this, and his amazing family arranged a charity night at a bar he used to work in to raise money for some specialist treatment.  This night was held at the beginning of Demceber and we all attended – the night was such a success, the venue it was held in was HUGE yet the bar was so busy you could barely move, all with people that wanted to support Nicky!  They had an auction which raised lots of money, not to mention the ticket sales.  It was a lovely night spent with lots of lovely people and I had a great time even though I drove and didn’t drink!  I’m not sure of the total amount that was raised, but Nicky is now in Stoke Mandeville, the specialist spinal treatment hospital and there has been an arrest made in conjunction with the person that did this to him.  Great news all round, so December was a good month in terms of this situation.  I just wish him a lovely Christmas and a speedy recovery J

This is the month where I got ill from going out too much.  I’ve met some awesome people, and had some lovely times this month and it’s not even including Christmas!  First up one random Thursday night Charlie, Hollie and I decided to go to Faces to see Frankie Cocozza perform – the club was full of drunk 16 year olds and I have never heard anyone sing as badly as Frankie did, but it was funny none the less. 

The day after I had my work Christmas meal, which consisted of bowling at All Star Lanes in Holborn and then a nice 3 course slap up meal!  I took full advantage of the free bar and went and met the girls later that night in the pub - I managed to restrain myself from going out out though!  The day after I had my Christmas meal with the girls at a lovely restaurant near us called Sheesh, followed by Nu Bar antics.  The weekend was rounded off nicely by a drink with my friends Willo and Tommy in Nu Bar which lead into staying out all night and getting home at 1am – hence why I am ill now.

Next comes Christmas Eve.  I love Christmas Eve, because it always ends up being a good night.  I have been hungover on Xmas Day before and it's not nice so this year I was going to try and keep calm, but alas this didn't happen.  We went to my friend Mailer's house for a bit of a party first, complete with 'Jo's Bastard Pass the Parcel', and then onto a pub near us called the Hollybush for lots of Festive bants!


Christmas Day was then spent hanging like an actual bat :( I got lots of presents, things like a new camera, pjs, cds, dvds, make up, bath stuff, just the usual - I also got money for Vegas which is always welcomed :)  I then went to my aunts for dinner and ended up drunkenly having a Mario Kart battle with my cousins Lee & Joe and Joe's girlfriend.  The night ended with us 4 doing shots while playing MonopoIy and Lee being so drunk he could barely stand - it was an epic xmas day :)

Then came the carnage of Boxing Day.  I had my family over including my sister, brother in law and niece so we had another round of presents and another feast!  Later that night I went out with the girls to Nu Bar for their Garage Sessions - It ended up being one of the funniest nights of the year!  LOTS to drink, and lots of banter, we met up with some of our friends Joe, Ian, Jamie and Harry and went back to theirs for an afterparty.  Being driven home at 10am the next morning in a van down Loughton high road was not a high point!  We spent the day after lunching with the boys, chilling at Hollie's and then going to the pub with the boys to watch the football - all after a grand total of 3 hours sleep :)

Who's that in bed with Jamie?

The last even in December was Big Bob's Annual Christmas Party - Our friend Dan's dad (Big Bob) has a Christmas party and we were all invited - lovely to spend time with the people I hadn't already seen over Christmas, and although I had work the next day this also turned out to be horrifically drunken and eventful - Anyway, check out the pictures, and I am sure the NYE antics will be worthy of a whole other blog post!

Starting the night off civilised...

My second parents, Mark and Jane x


Tache anyone?

Poor Gary x
Just wanna take the time to say thanks for reading my blog this year - I only started it in July yet 15,000 page views and 101 posts later it's still going strong.  I love to hear your feedback so don't be shy if you have something to say regarding my blog and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

I hope you all had a lovely 2011, an awesome Christmas, an AMAZING NYE, and an even better year ahead.  Here's to 2012, i'll drink to that...

Morsh xx