Monday, 30 January 2012

Three Hungry Boys vs One Angry Woman

It just got personal.

The Three Hungry Boys
Last week there was a program on Channel 4 called Three Hungry Boys, ironically starring 3 boys, Tim, Thom and Trevor.  Tim happens to be a relative (brother) of one of my twitter followers, @rupertclash.  Naturally I watched the show, just out of curiosity and support for @rupertclash who was clearly extremely proud of his brother.  The program shows the 3 boys travelling through Devon and Cornwall for 5 weeks without any money and basically having to ‘live off the land’ and try and fend for themselves without buying any food, using local businesses to help them.  Pretty unoffensive right?  Interesting tv yes?  Look at their faces, all lovely and happy and smiley!!  *lighening bolt* *air gets colder* *hostility fills the air*  Enter Liz Jones.

Liz has a problem.  We all know her problem is much bigger than anything to do with this program.  Her problem basically imvolves her being as annoyed as humanly possible with anyone that isn’t sharing her thoughts and opinions, and doing what her idea of a ‘hard working job’ is.  Before I even begin this, let me make a point clear: it doesn’t matter what ANYONE’s job is.  If you work hard and have a job which enables you to pay your own way and not to rely on anyone but yourself, you can do whatever you want.  Jones needs to remember that next time she picks up her dry cleaning, gets served in Boots or orders a takeaway.

She starts off by labelling the program “macho, self-congratulatory and mainly involving murdering poor unsuspecting creatures such as rabbits and crabs while the camera lovingly pans across naked male torsos”.  I assume that Jones is a vegetarian (if not then she has much bigger mental issues then I first suspected – I would find out, but I know googling her will just introduce me to new levels of rage I never thought possible).  At times of economic crisis, I think showing how 3 young men are WORKING HARD to survive for 5 weeks with NO MONEY, and LIVING OFF THE LAND is a good thing.  Would Jones rather sit there and see them drunk and disorderly on Party Paramedics?  No.  Although I suspect no matter what these boys were doing on this program, she would find a way to have a problem with it.

“There was even a scene where all the boys got soaking wet” – So now Jones has a problem with damp men?   She is just bitter that they don't want to stick it up her.  I didn’t realise that if it rained, all filming had to be halted so not to offend any viewers stuck in the dark ages.. Clearly a shot of a damp boy is enough to make the crude, cocky, egotistical Jones reach for the nearest turkey baster and don her balaclava, hoping there will be some sort of ejaculation she can catch in her spiderweb and insert up herself, but that has already been discussed previously on this blog and I do not have the energy or inclination to go into it again.  Oh, and she states that ‘poor Nigella’ is accused of turning food into porn when really the boys that get wet on a tv show are the problem.  The way she smothers herself over all her cooking equipment, practically deep throating a banana she will be ‘using’ on her program and basically plays up to the sexual link between food and lust doesn’t make her an unnecessary bully victim – it makes her a smart businesswoman knowing that food and sex can be linked and sex sells.  I’m sure she doesn’t think of herself as poor when she is in Selfridges spending the many thousands of pounds she has made from starring in and promoting this show?  I’m sure SHE doesn’t have a problem with it.  I can just imagine Nigella rubbing her melon balls in glee while watching the Three Hungry Boys. 

According to Jones there was a horrible segment in the show where the boys stewed some snails.  She also asked “why aren’t they at work?” – Well Jones, as I stated before, work is not conventional and the same for everyone.  This tv show is clearly their work.  You don’t ask why Carol Vorderman isn’t at work, even though she seems to professionally pour herself into skin tight dresses meant for 23 year olds and stand around on street corners getting photographed, even though she hasn’t been seen on a tv show since I was 15 – I bet you don’t have a problem with that do you?  Anyway, the reason Jones has a problem with this particular segment is because the boys weren’t aware the snails had to be starved for a few days before consuming, to ‘cleanse their entrails’.  Due to this they cooked them, a load of green slime came out, they TRIED THEM and then because they were hideous they threw them away.  First up, I eat meat but am not a fan of animal cruelty – but these are SNAILS.  I know they are all Gods creatures, blah blah blah, but snails?  Come on!  ‘They sacrificed their lives for nothing’ – I would hate to think what would happen if Jones accidentally stood on a snail that was on her garden path... although I know if I was a snail that was anywhere near Jones I would rather be stood on than have to spend more than 5 second in her presence.  She didn’t like the fact the snails got thrown away.  The boys are fending for themselves, they didn’t know about the entrail cleansing that needed to happen.  I for one would rather watch them do that then try some random dish cooked by a local, decide they didn’t like it and throw a load of good food in the bin.  I wonder if Jones has ever accidentally let a pint of milk go off by accident?  You could argue that the ‘poor cows’ were milked for no good reason then – this is how ridiculously involved this argument could get, if you had a brain as tedious as Jones’s. 

She then goes on to moan about The Fabulous Baker Brothers;  how their surname isn’t Baker, how they have gone to a local farm to make cider and the way they ‘lord it over the locals’.  Of all the conclusions I have come to about Jones, the amount of articles I have read about her/by her, I know that she is hated by the local people in her village (she moans about them enough).  If there was ever anyone guilty of lording it over the locals, I suspect it is Jones.  She goes on to claim the worst moment in the Baker Brothers show was when the boys ‘presented their wares to a group of local girls training to be hairdressers’, and how you know ‘the boys would never date a girl who weilds hairspray for a living’ – DFASJKFH;KASJDFSDAHF what the hell?  Yet another dig at people that don’t have her idea of a perfect job.  What’s wrong with being a hairdresser?  Does Jones’ think she is above all hairdressers, just because they don’t have degrees or the job is not seen as of a high standard?  I wonder if Jones’ thinks she is better than Daniel Galvin or Nicky Clarke, or if it’s just the bog standard run of the mill hairdressers found on every high street.  Believe it or not, she follows that sentence by saying “it was patronising beyond belief” – is she for REALS?

After this she picks on my beloved Heston, claiming he is using chemicals from cans to freeze chocolate and how it looks dangerous (now she is a health and safety advisor) and how Heston’s program gives a ‘skewed view of the locals (all idiots in costume with nothing better to do with their time than put on am dram)’ – what business is it of Jones’ what these locals do?  How Jones can fill an article based on her opinion’s of other peoples lives and what they are doing wrong is beyond me.  I know I am doing this with Jones herself, but I don’t have the self righteous, ‘i’m right and you are wrong’ ‘I am better than you’ attitude that she has.  MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS JONES, what does it matter to you if a bunch of local people want to star in a tv show?

She goes on to say that most people don’t spend their time foraging for food in the countryside, and basically these shows are disrespectful to people that are skint.  I don’t think it’s disrespectful at all, it’s just a tv show.  It’s interesting to people that want to watch it and to be fair it might even give people some ideas – if it doesn’t so what?  Watching this show doesn’t make people skinter, or more unable to obtain food.  It’s just a challenge.  Why doesn’t Jones get annoyed when the Top Gear team spend their time poncing around Vietnam, wasting petrol, polluting the atmosphere with their shockingly old cars, taking the p*ss out of the locals and their culture and screaming and shouting when they try local food, before proceeding to throw it away and head to the nearest English pub?  Why is that not a problem to her?

Jones excels herself by finishing the article with the 2 following paragraphs, the first being:  “not only is growing vegetables back breaking and expensive, when you factor in seedlings, manure and water it’s time consuming.” AND “Hugh and Jamie and Nigel (nice grammar there Jones) might think it’s fabulous to wander outside to pick a few handfuls of fragrant herbs, but they probably aren’t having to clean the house, do laundry and empty the dishwasher at the same time”.  Now, where the fuck do I begin with this.  For one, I will lay money on the fact that Jones doesn’t do these things either.  She will have a cleaner, probably a MAID knowing her and even maybe someone to wipe her ass for her, just so she doesn’t have to acknowledge the fact her sh*t stinks just like the rest of us.  Also, what is SO UNFORGIVEABLY BAD about trying to teach people how to grow their own fruit and vegetables?  Again, in this economic climate this is nothing but a good thing.  I know people don’t have time to tend to a meadow containing the variety of vegetables you can get in Tesco (or should I saw Waitrose Jones?) but even if they just learn how to grow one thing, that is a positive and will save them money.  Unlike Jones, my mum can only be described as busy.  She has a full time job, her evenings AND weekends are spent cooking dinner for the family, cleaning the house, getting the shopping, doing the laundry, WASHING THE DISHES (as we don’t have a dishwasher) and basically being a mum/wife as well as a PA.  Regardless of all this, she recently grew her own herbs.  She didn’t sit on the floor crying because she didn’t have time to do it.  She did it, and she did it well and it’s saved her money on something she likes but she doesn’t see as a necessity, because of how skint everyone is at the moment.  Does this mean that because my mum has time to do this, she doesn’t work hard in other aspects of her life?

If your answer to that is yes Jones, then that means you have a problem with my mum – and that officially means sh*t is about to get real.

Fighting their corners: Rachel Johnson, editor of The Lady, and Daily Mail columnist Liz Jones
Look at those ears

Friday, 27 January 2012

It's Friday, Friday, Friiiiiiiiiday


Hope everyone is doing well, I haven’t had a minute to even THINK this week!  Have spent the majority of the week contacting PR’s trying to further my blog (somehow) and it’s actually worked well.  Lots of them have replied and I will be working with them in the future, they all seem really nice... it was due to this that I split my blog into two parts, taking the beauty side of things to a totally different blog.  I was wary that the beauty was being lost in the midst of all my rants and random posts, but then I didn’t want to stop doing either.  I am really pleased with how my blog is progressing, what it looks like etc – now I just need things to write about haha!

Looking forward to this weekend, I have a jam packed one so glad i’ve been paid!  I have a half day at work today and I am going for a massage this afternoon!  I’m actually really excited because I have never had a proper official massage – is that weird?  I feel really tense all the time and I am a very stiff, clicky person so hopefully this massage will relax and loosen me up a bit!  I’ll be blogging it so stay tuned for that!  After my massage I have to drive home at the speed of light and get ready, because tonight is the next Rejam Music event – I have previously blogged about these before so this is another topic i’ll be posting at some point next week.  I love these events, they are always so great – the people, the music, the venue – it’s always spot on.

Tomorrow I am going shopping with some of the girls as February is my nightmare month (my mum’s, dad’s and brother in laws’ birthdays are all in Feb BEFORE payday, and now my nephew will be born at some point next week therefore making his birthday in Feb too – gah!) so I have to go and buy lots of presents and baby clothes (which I am excited about haha).  Tomorrow night I have a friends birthday in a local bar and I will probably end up being totally Essex and going to Faces or Nu Bar afterwards... Swiftly followed by lunch in a lovely Thai restaurant with the girls on Sunday, and then a bit of a Sunday session at Nu Bar – I am going to hate myself on Monday morning!

Anyway, hope you all have lovely exciting weekends planned, I have finally paid off Vegas and still have a decent amount of my wages left so you’ll have to excuse the pictures I blog next week as I don’t plan on being the most sober person in the world at any of these events...

Have a good one lovelies xx

P.S Check out my new blog post on Morsh’s Beauty Corner, with my top 5 picks of the week HURR

Morsh's Picks of the Week

I decided to compile a nice list of all the lovely fashion/beauty bits I have seen this week that I have my eye on... read on for more and HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

1.     Temporary Secretary

The ultimate pick of the week is the website Temporary Secretary.  I was browsing the blogs I usually read and saw a post on HERE by the lovely @lilypebbles about some pieces she had received from this site.  I decided to have a browse and instantly fell in love with some of the bits they have on there.  They sell nice bits of kitsch jewellery, as well as random pieces such as fake moustaches, notepads, bags, scarves.  They have a lot of moustache jewellery on there so I was always going to love it, given my obsession with all things ‘tache related.  Check out the website HERE and see below for my picks of the best pieces on the website:

2.  ELF Cosmetics

I have previously heard good things about ELF Cosmeticss so when I went online to check them out and was shocked to discover how cheap the range was!  I haven’t ever used their make up before, but due to the cheapness of it I decided to try a few bits and check it out.  It’s payday today so I went a bit mad and bought a ‘haul’, so i’ll probably blog the results of this when I receive it, but for now here is what I bought...

Studio Makeup Mist & Set
Studio Make Up Mist & Set - £3.50
Duo Eye Shadow Cream
Due Eyeshadow Creme in Black Licorice - £1.50

Blending Eye Brush
Blending Eye Brush - £1.50

Matte finisher Clear Nail Polish
Matte Finisher Clear Nail Polish - £1
All Over Cover Stick
All Over Cover Stick - £1.50

Plumping Lip Glaze in Oasis - £1.50

Concealer Brush
Concealer Brush - £1.50
zit zapper
Zit Zapper - £1.50
I'm not holding out TOO much hope to be honest, considering that lot including delivery (£2.50) came to £15.40, but it's worth a try as there are lots of good reviews on their site (could easily be biast, I know...) I'll be sure to let you all know when I receive the products though!

3.     Benefit Hervana

So Benefit sent me a lovely little press release all about their brand new blusher they are launching this Saturday, called Hervana.  I like Benefit make up, but I find things like the foundation etc just never really match my skin tone that well.  I am clearly a devoted fan of Hula and Benetint, so knowing they are launching a new blusher is music to my ears!  Short of just launching the blusher in different shade, this is a mix and match of 4 tones – lucky shell, divine peach, heavenly rose and berry delight, and combined together make up a lovely pinky toned blusher.  Reading the reviews of this blush from the lucky so and so’s that received this before the launch, I can tell that everyone is super impressed with it.  I like the look of this because the packaging is absolutely beautiful (as most of Benefit’s packaging is) and you can do so much with this blush!  Use the brush to mix all the colours together, or if you aren’t sure use only one colour and then pick the divine peach as a highlighter.  You could also have subtle cheek colour by using only one sweep or layer it to make the effect darker – I like having options!  I am excited about this lovely new product and funds allowing, will hopefully get involved on Saturday, along with Cha Cha Tint – I NEED that in my life!

4.  Soap and Glory – A Great Kisser

A new product from S&G, advertised as ‘a super fruit butter moisturising lip balm’, and that sounds good to me!  The balm comes in 3 colours (or flavours as I like to call it), either Chocolate Cherry, Sweet Coconut or Juicy Peach.  Juicy Peach is obviously a nice peach colour, Sweet Coconut is white, aka clear (and I bet it smells AMAZING) while Chocolate cherry is a really hot deep pink – perfect for people like me with pale(ish) complexions and dark hair!  Chocolate Cherry sounds good enough to eat, and one of the USP’s of this product is that it’s billed as being ‘not too waxy, not too slippery, not too greasy, not too sticky – in fact it’s just right” – That is a very good way to sell lip balm to me, as I have tried lots over the years and they are either really sticky and come off within about 5 mins or very greasy.  I am tempted to try one of these out, might have to go and make a sneaky purchase at lunch!

Chocolate Cherry                                  Juicy Peach                                      Sweet Coconut

5.     Daisy Street Shoes 

The shoes on this website are actually gorgeous, and the prices are very purse friendly too.  Some of the flats leave a lot to be desiered, but you can’t have it all.  The platforms are to die for though, I always tend to like the highest heels – the further away from a kitten heel the better (kitten heels - *vomits) so when I came across these beauties I nearly hyperventilated.  Check out the website HERE if you want to nab a pair of these for yourself but be quick, I have been paid and am contemplating buying them all...

Sasha Slipper - £15                  Rosie Suede - £35          Solange Glitter Gold - £30       Lucia Chelsea £30


Wednesday, 25 January 2012

The Body Shop Bestseller Bonanza!

I’ve got a nice bargain to start your day off with, hopefully making hump day a bit more bearable!

The Body Shop are doing an online exclusive, selling their 10 bestsellers from 2011 half price for the next 5 days.  There is a nice range of products here, make up, face creams, moisutirsers, so there is definitely a product here for everyone.  The below products are on offer:

Vitamin E Moisture Cream - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Vitamin E Moisture Cream – was £9, now £4.50

Coconut Body Butter  - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Coconut Body Butter – was £12.50, now £6.25

Aloe Soothing Day Cream - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Aloe Soothing Day Cream – Was £9, now £4.50

Vitamin E Eye Cream - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Vitamin E Eye Cream – was £9.50 now £4.75
Mango Body Butter - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Mango Body Butter – Was £12.50, now £6.25

Big And Curvy Mascara  - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Big and Cuvy Mascara – Was £10, now £5
Shea Body Scrub - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Shea Body Scrub – Was £12.50, now £6.25

Lip and Cheek Stain - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Lip and Cheek Stain – was £10, now £5

Peppermint Cooling Foot Lotion - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Peppermint Foot Lotion – Was £8, now £4

Lightening Touch - 50% Off Our 2011 Top 10
Lightening Touch – Was £14, now £7

I haven’t tried many of these products before, only the Coconut Body Butter.  I love this product as it smells like holidays!  It doesn’t smell too ‘processed’, just smells like genuine coconuts – I wear this when I am depressed and feel like I need a bit of cheering up.  It is a TAD too greasy for my liking as a body butter, but if the main requirement is to make your skin smell amazing then this is the product for you. 

I get paid tomorrow so am planning on having a total splurge with all beauty products (and i’m at that time of year again where all of my make up has run out in one go) and I think I might pick a few of these products up.  My mum uses the Peppermint Foot Lotion and that’s another BS wonder that smells absolutely gorgeous, and considering it’s only £4 I might have to indulge.  The other product I like the look of is the lip and cheek stain, I love the colour of it in the picture!  I tend to go for very pastel pink girly blushers, but considering I have paleish skin and dark hair a deep red blusher might look good, so the cheek stain could be a new staple in my make up bag... I’ll obviously blog a review when I get the products!

If you want to get involved in this Body Shop offer, just click the link HERE

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Victoria Beckham for Numero

Hot mama! Victoria Beckham looks sensational in white corset underwear by Rochas on the March edition of Numero magazine, Japanese edition

Swit swoo!

Just a quick post, but I cannot believe how beautiful Vicky B looks in the promo shots for this magazine!  I am used to her look very ‘severe’ – all angular bob and harsh cheekbones.  I have always thought she would look better with a bit more weight on her (along with the rest of the world AND her husband David) because it makes her look older than she is.  VB is hardly a spring chicken, but she’s in no way OLD... I just feel like she could easily look more youthful with a bit of a plumper face. 

I have looked online this morning and everyone is kicking off about these pictures, but I think she looks AH-MAZING.  I know she is still STUPIDLY skinny, but she just doesn’t look as gaunt and ill as she does normally.  I love her new hair, the longer length covers up her protruding neck bones (slightly) and the choppier, layered style is a lot more relaxed than usual.  This instantly makes her look better, but the best part is the FRINGE!  Even though you can only see her face from the side it softens up her features so much, and is a lovely change from her normal poker straight 100% perfect styles.  Smokey eye works perfectly with the ‘do and I even love the nail varnish contrast between her hands and the Rochas corset she is wearing.

This is honestly one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen of VB and I can’t wait to see the rest!  She’s only really just had Harper so it’s a bit worrying that she’s lost all the baby weight this quickly – I suspect the reason I like this picture so much is also because you can’t see as easily just how scarily thin she is...  Keep it up Vicks, you look stunning!

Friday, 20 January 2012

Festival Schmestivals

Early on in the year I get itchy fingers.  ITCHY because Christmas is dead and buried and it’s so far in the future you can’t even see it.  There is nothing to look forward to until waaay into the Summer months, so I begin to plan.  I plan, and I book things and I buy over priced tickets to watch dirty men perform songs I love on stage.  I book things, things that clash and coincide with each other and leave me with no sleep for a week solid but because it’s not happening TODAY I hardly take any notice.

This year, 2012 – the year of AMAZINGNESS... This time is now.  I am going to plan all of the gigs/festivals I am going to attend.

As much as this might make me a geek, I LOVE DOING THIS.  I search all the lists, I contact my friends and see who wants to go to what with me.  I research the ticket release dates, I plan my finances to find out when I am going to be able to buy the tickets.  Because of this, I am going to do a festival wish list blog post.  PIG IN SHIT.

Camden Crawl Friday 4th May – Sunday 6th May
First stop, kicking off with the Camden Crawl.  I haven’t ever been to the Camden Crawl, I don’t really know why as it’s not that far away to venture and I LOVE CAMDEN.  I think it’s put me off a bit that I don’t know most of the bands there, and even if you have a ticket you aren’t guaranteed entry into seeing the big names they pull in.  I think i’d prefer to be guaranteed a spot, but even if you just went down there to listen to unknowns and have bants in Camden it’s probably worth it.  Not line up rumours yet, but the official line up is announced in January.  I know it’s January now, but it hasn’t been announced yet.  GET OFF MY BACK.  Tickets expected to be £57 for early bird 2 day ticket or £62 for early bird 3 day ticket. 

Download Festival – Friday 8th June – Sunday 10th June
This year Download have managed to nab Prodigy to headline for the Friday night, Metallica for the Saturday night and Black Sabbath for the Sunday – BLACK SABBATH!  Music is a lot more hardcore than some popular festivals (*cough* V, ahem *cough*) – Definitely not for you spray tanned, preened posey Essex types!  The other acts are awesome, the likes of Chase & Status, Biffy Clyro, You Me at Six, Tenacious D (amazing) Lamb of God, Anthrax and lots more.  Sounds like a good line up this year, and with ticket prices roughly the same as V (£145 for a weekend, or £180 for weekend festival ticket & 5 nights camping) if you like your rock music and lack of posers, this sounds like it might be the one for you.

Lovebox Weekender Friday 15th June – Sunday 17th June
Never ventured to Lovebox, not sure why.  I have had some near misses in the last few years, but there hasn’t ever really been an act that has made me decide to get a ticket.  For me the people they pull in are wishy washy and there is never one name that I think “oooh I would like to see them” so I just haven’t bothered.  Regardless of this, I do just love the festival experience and atmosphere so I am always willing to give new festivals a go, try anything once me!  Line up for this hasn’t been announced yet either, lazy gits.  Held at Victoria Park in London, tickets are roughly £50 each / £100 for a weekend ticket.

Isle of Wight Festival ’12 – Friday 22nd June – Sunday 24th June
I have wanted to go to the Isle of Wight for years.  It’s as tame as festivals like V etc come, but it’s far away enough from Essex to not just be standing in a field with everyone you’ve ever met.  Bit of an alternative line up, it doesn’t pander to EVERYONE’S tastes like V but it does have a bit of something about it... Headiners this year announced as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for the Friday, Pearl Jam for the Saturday and Bruce Springsteen on the Sunday.  Jessie J, Magnetic Man, Elbow, Biffy Clyro, Noel Gallagher, Kelis, Miles Kane, Example, The Darkness, Feeder, Pro Green, Wretch 32, Noah & the Whale, The Vaccines, Madness, Tinie Tempah and The Charlatans are some of the other acts, so as you can see although it’s a nice mix of commercial pop/r&b and watered down rock music, there must be something there for most avid festival goers!  Held in Newport, IoW, ticket prices are £190 weekend with camping.

Wireless Festival ’12 – Friday 6th July – Sunday 8th July
I have been to Wireless the last 2 years running and loved it.  It’s not for everyone, and it’s certainly not a ‘serious’ festival for ‘serious’ festival goers.  Prime example, the line up last year was average and the day I went to was headlined by the Black Eyed Peas, not exactly at the forefront of cutting edge new music.  Still, I went along and it is honestly one of the best days out you can have.  Normal commercial acts you would hear on the radio, sun, cider and banter.  What more could you want?  (Just as a little note, don’t trust me on this – the reason I might have such a good time at these festivals is because my friends are hilarious and not because the festivals are actually good, so if you don’t go with my friends then you might have a shit time – if this happens it is not my fault).  Rihanna is confirmed to headline the Sunday evening, with Jessie J, Calvin Harris and Labrinth backing her up.  No one else confirmed for the other days.  Held in Hyde Park, ticket prices are around £60 a day.

Sonisphere – Friday 6th July – Sunday 8th July
Held on the same weekend as Wireless, this festival has much more of a line up tailored to my musical tastes, I must admit.  No official line up yet, but rumours are Blink 182, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Muse, Val Halen and Rammstein – erm, could it actually get any better than that?  Oh yeah, only if RHCP and Arcade Fire were added to that line up.  If that was to happen then I would totally get a wide on.  Still, held at Knebworth House in Hertfordshire, a nice location and early bird tickets are £170 with camping or £145 without – it’s tempting isn’t it?

Latitude  - Thursday 12th July – Sunday 15th July
One of the longest festivals this year (partly because Glastonbury is taking it’s sabbatical this year *sob*) there are no current line up announcements for it, but I remember the line up being good last year.  Much the same as V and IoW, I remember acts like Flo and the Machine getting involved, but the atmosphere is apparently much more along the lines of Secret Garden Party – keep your eyes peeled for this one!  Held at Henham Park Estate in Beccles, Sufolk, tickets are £180 weekend.

Hard Rock Calling ’12 – Friday 13th July – Sunday 15th July
I haven’t ever been to Hard Rock Calling but it seems to be right up my street.  They tend to have a mixture of current bands and normally pull out one show stopping old school headliner for one of the night slots.  This year they also have Bruce Springsteen coming back to headline the Saturday night, and no other headliners as of yet confirmed.  Held in Hyde Park (same as Wireless) this is fast becoming a day festival hot spot for the London/Essex area.  Tickets are £60 currently only available for the Saturday BUT they are all sold out.

Secret Garden Party – Thursday 19th July – Sunday 22nd July
Speaking of Secret Garden Party, the award for the best festival name goes to these guys!  Again, no line up for this yet, but another one to keep your eyes peeled for.  Held at Mill Hill Field in Cambridgeshire, weekend tickets currently being advertised as £165 (third tier, tier one and two already sold out).

Camp Bestival – Thursday 26th July – Sunday 29th July
Bestival is one festival that has always interested me.  Held in Dorset, every one I know that has ever been has said they loved it.  One of the most random aspects of Bestival is that from 6.15pm – 7.15pm there is a silent hour, where all the sound systems go off.  This is due to a church service nearby that has taken place for hundreds of years, and the organisers were reluctant to interrupt – lots of entertainment is still scheduled for this hour, with spoken word, theatre events and if none of that appeals to you, that hour is the perfect opportunity to grab some Neon Noodles.  Early bird camping tickets, £170.

Global Gathering – Friday 27th July – Saturday 28th July
For reasons unknown, Global is not scheduled for the Sunday, but instead is 2 days of pure house music appreciating.  Based in Stratford upon Avon, there are no headliners confirmed for this year yet, but they promise ‘more than 150 world class DJs over 16 areas’ – sounds fair to me.  Early bird tickets are £99 for both days.

The Big Chill – Thursday 2nd August – Sunday 5th August
The Big Chill has been CANCELLED this year, because of the stupid Olympics.  Bah.

V Festival – Saturday 18th August – Sunday 19th August
I have been to V for the last 5 years running, this year being my 6th.  I have planned ahead this time and got my tickets in advance, as I always end up looking at the line up, saying it’s rubbish, not buying a ticket and then running around like a mad thing the week before trying to find one.  I KNOW it’s commercial, I KNOW it’s full of people from Essex (if you go to the one in Chelmsford), but it’s easy and the line up can sometimes surprise (although it has declined in value every year I have been, starting off with Foo Fighters and ending up with Rihanna headlining last year – Eminem was a stroke of GENIUS though).  Based in either Staffordshire or Chemlsford, tickets are £175 for weekend with camping.  Line up to be announced shortly.

Reading & Leeds Festival – Friday 24th – Sunday 26th
Again blah blah blah, no acts confirmed, but what do I need to tell you about Reading apart from it’s one of the best music festivals in England?  Rumours at the moment are Foo Fighters and The Killers to headline with Metronomy and Two Door Cinema Club bringing up the rear.  Tickets around £200 for a weekend, keep your eyes peeled for ticket release dates and line up announcements for this festival.

SW4 – Saturday 25th August – Sunday 26th August
I went to SW4 last year.  It was an averagely good day out, especially if you have a passion for house music and not the bog standard indie festivals that 90% of these are.  They had decent tents with different types of house music in them last year, and it was headlined by Pendulum – very good but the venue is just a bit too far, NIGHTMARE to get home and the field it is held in (on Clapham Common) was like a swamp by the end of the day.  Good if you LOVE the acts, not worth it if you don’t IMO.  Tickets around £85 for both days, about £45 sold separately.

So there you have it, my Essex/London area breakdown of the festivals for this year.  I appear to have posted this a bit prematurely as there are hardly any confirmed acts for the headliners for this year, but sod it i’ve wrote it all out now so YOU WILL READ IT.

What festivals are you looking to go to this year?  Are there any festivals that you love, but i’ve failed to mention?  Let me knowwwww!

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

The Age Old Workwear Debate...

Today I am going to raise the age old question a lot of you have spent most of your time pondering (i’m sure).  Are trainers acceptable with work attire if you are on your commute to/from work?  I think this is a horrific crime against fashion and I am going to list the reasons why below – i’m sure you are all on the edge of your seats, so try and contain yourselves...

1.   Trainers do not go with trousers at all – Trousers and trainers are not acceptable.  If you REALLY HAVE TO wear trainers with something other than sportswear, then drainpipe trousers are the only acceptable leg coverers, and this is only in a matter of life or death.  Even this is bad though, for the following 2 reasons1.  There will never be a life or death situation that would require you to wear trousers and trainers 2. If you own a pair of drainpipe trousers then you sound like you might be on the ball a bit with fashion, so you will already know that trainers and trousers are not a good look.

2.   Trainers are definitely not to be worn with a skirt and tights EVER.  No one wears trainers and skirts and just because you are going to work doesn’t mean that you are allowed to.  Trainers with a skirt make your legs and feet resemble golf clubs and this is never a good look for any woman.

3.   Wearing trainers with your work outfit totally ruins the whole ‘sexy secretary look’ that men find so attractive.  I would lay my life on the fact there has never been a man who has fantasised about being naughty in their office with their secretary, and when they look down at their feet they have a pair of Air Force Ones on (I know those trainers are so 2002 but I have no idea about brands of trainers today as I point blank don’t wear them – EVER).  Don’t worry, there have been times where I have been on the train and I look like I have literally been pulled out of a swamp after a fight with a crocodile so it’s not as if I embrace the SS look every day, but you can at least give men this illusion, fake it a bit!  I don’t wear heels to work as I have a hard enough time trying to walk in them at the weekend let alone stumbling around the office trying to print out some files for my boss.  Flat shoes are fine with skirts and can make you look dainty and ballerina like – trainers make you look like an idiot.

4.  There is literally no reason why trainers and workwear on the tube is a requirement.  Going to the gym?  Put your trainers in your bag and put them on once you are there.  Find heels uncomfortable walking to the station in?  Get a pair of cute flats then.  Planning on running to the station?  Don’t.  Can’t get shoes comfortable enough that aren’t trainers?  Go to your doctor.  I cannot think of any reason why anyone would want to wear trainers on the train.

This whole discussion came around this morning while I was on the train with my friend Jamie.  A woman was standing next to us, dressed in a smart suit with a pencil skirt, tights, and then these massive black trainers on her feet.  I cannot work out why this would ever be the sort of thing someone would think to put on their feet when they are getting ready for work?  Anyway, Jamie works in Fashion and I have noticed of late that he takes notice of what women wear anyway, but he looked down, looked at me and then said “look at her feet, I HATE THAT”.  You might think men don’t notice, but they do.  I also know that you might be reading this post and think “I don’t care what men think, I dress for myself in what I like and what I am comfortable in” – That is absolutely fair enough and I congratulate you for being your own person, BUT if you have any sort of interest in your appearance whatsoever then you would not wear trainers with workwear.

I am not vain or massively concerned with my appearance.  I don’t dress for friends, boys or anyone other than me.  I wear what I like and if someone else doesn’t like it it doesn’t matter – they aren’t wearing it.  That being said, I do like to look nice and I don’t want people looking at me and wondering what sort of injury I suffered that would make me want to dress the way I have.  I am all for pushing the boundaries of fashion and trying new things, being creative – however this is not pushing the boundaries, being creative or just trying to be comfortable.  This is just lazy fashion and I wish all women would care about their appearance EVERYWHERE they go.  I am not saying you have to be dolled up to go to the shops, or have a full face of make up to go and get petrol.  Just try and look nice all the time, opportunities come along no matter where you are, relationiships get formed all the time when you least expect it.  You don’t want to be the woman they remember for having the criminal trainers on.  I could understand if there was a point to it, same as I don’t bat an eyelid if a girl is wearing heels or flats, if someone is in full sports gear on the train or if someone is wearing a huge b*stard rain mac (if it’s actually raining out).  As I stated before, I just cannot think of a legitimate reason of why you would want to wear trainers on the train;  If you have bothered to make the effort and get up, do your hair, put on make up and a nice suit then just spend the extra 10 seconds slipping on a pair of flat shoes and leave the trainers at home! 

I enquired on Twitter as to what people thought about trainers and workwear, and got a few responses.  Jess (@styladelica) said that she has a 20 minute walk to/from work so there is no way she would wear heels, hence she wears trainers.  I totally understand, yet I asked her why she didn’t just wear flat shoes?  I get that they might not be as comfortable as trainers, but they aren’t uncomfortable – they are flat?  As of yet, no response.

Anyway, I don’t want to cause offence to anyone.  If you do wear trainers to work that’s your prerogative and none of my business.  If you think I am talking out of my ass and want to set me straight then please feel free to comment on here and let me know why.

***Please bear in mind that throughout the duration of me writing this blog post, in my head I have been imagining a pair of black trainers.  If you wear OR endorse the possibility of WHITE trainers with work wear, then please answer the following questions:  1.  Have you had an accident at work recently?  2.  Have you been hit on the head?  3.  Have you suffered a minor stroke?  4.  Are you drunk?  If your answers to any of these questions is yes, then please feel free to either email me and I will try to help you, or contact your local doctor.***

UPDATE!!  My friend Jo has just read this blog post and has labelled these people #sneakerbastards - brilliant.

Is this you?