Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Leap Year

Happy Leap Year!!!

Today is probably the weirdest day of the year, the day when everything gets flipped on it’s head.  Girls run around proposing to boyfriends, people that are 28 really go round celebrating their 7th birthdays, everyone else has to wait an extra DAY for their birthday... it’s a random one, and there are things I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS DAY.

First up, the whole marriage proposal thing.  Without going into too much detail (because I don’t want to spoil the surprise for someone close to me) in certain circumstances it is fine and more than understandable (the person this is aimed at will know I am referring to them) but 9 times out of 10 I just don’t understand it.  As a woman we have to put up with periods, childbirth, menopause, all while men just sit on their asses scratching their nuts but still manage to get better looking with age.  The least we can ask for is a bit of effort, a bit of thought going into a marriage proposal surely?  I personally have thought about what I would want my proposal to be like (I currently have my heart set on some sort of PDA, aka a FLASH MOB – something like THIS is bloody brilliant) and none of my ideas of my Perfect Marriage Proposal (PMP) involve me asking the boy.  I mean, I break out in a cold sweat just having to order my lunch in a cafe in front of people if I don’t know what I want (TOO MUCH CHOICE IS A BAD THING), so ME asking SOMEONE ELSE to MARRY ME is enough to give me a hernia.  My PMP would have to be on a completely random day – I wouldn’t want it to tie in with anything such as Christmas, Valentine’s Day, birthdays etc as it’s just so unoriginal.  I wouldn’t want it to be up the Eiffel Tower, or on a gondola in Venice – it’s just too clich├ęd!  For me to say yes, it would have to be personal to me, to us, and it would have to be the sort of situation where I think to myself “I am saying yes to marrying you because this proposal is everything I ever wanted and YOU KNOW THAT, therefore you know me”.  This post is running the risk of turning massively bent, and I don’t want it to be about that at all (but at least if any of you decide you want to propose to me, which frankly I wouldn’t blame you, you now know how to do it).  I just think for me personally, proposing to my boyfriend would be rubbish.  If he wanted to marry you he’d ask YOU right?  RIGHT?

Anyway, enough of all that LOVE stuff *vomit*, next up is the birthdays.  If you are born on the 29th Feb what do you DO every other year?  I mean I know you probably celebrate your birthday either the day before or the day after... but how do you decide which day?  Clearly if you are celebrating your 28th birthday today you aren’t REALLY 7, as you would have lived for 28 years (so everyone can stop cracking those stupid jokes because they are just boring) but why do this at all?  I don’t understand why every 4 years, there is an extra day?  Who does it benefit?  I bet it’s something to do with farmers, as everything annoying is something to do with farmers (when the clocks go back/forward, that really disgusting smell in the countryside, the fact you can BUY horse shit if you want to).  I’m actually going to google it now, hold on...





*wait*





*STOP BEING IMPATIENT*




Right, here are some leap year facts and a genuine explanation from timeanddate.com .  IGNORE THAT BIT, because it was about as easy to understand as Stephen Hawkings learning French.  I found a nice chap on Yahoo Answers that probably gave the most straight forward answer I have ever seen in my life.  He said “There is a leap year every 4 years because every normal year it takes 365 and ¼ days for the Earth to go round the Sun.  So every 4 years we need to add a day to keep the calendar consistent with the Seasons”.  Just like that!  What an intelligent little bean he is.  According to the bewildering timeanddate.com, “If we did not do this we would lose almost 6 hours off our calendar every year, and after 100 years our calendar would be off by approx 24 days”.  Erm, so?  I understand what they are saying, I just don’t understand why it would matter?  Does that mean that if we did this everything would be a mess and we’d be getting up for work at 1.57am and coming home at 2.46pm and eating dinner at midnight and everything would just be weird?  WEIRDER THAN IT IS EVERY 4 YEARS ON FEB 29TH  ANYWAY?  Or does it mean that after 100 years when we would normally change from Spring to Summer, and Summer to Autumn etc, we would be 24 days out, so if we left it long enough our Summer would end up being October, November, December etc?  I understand that too, but I don’t get why it matters as it’s just a name.  Calling it Summer doesn’t automatically make the weather sunny?  If that was to happen then just change the words so Winter meant it was sunny and everyone was happy and you could wear flip flops to work and Summer meant it was going to be depressing and cold and everyone is skint.  I don’t even know why I am thinking about it this much, it has never bothered me before but now this is bothering me.  This is what happens when I google something.  I need to calm down.

Ok, I am calm.  Confused but calm.  Next question – why has the day been added on to the end of February?  No one likes February, it’s boring and the only thing that happens in it is Valentines Day which is just rubbish too.  Why can’t it have been added onto the end of July, so there is an extra day of Summer, or added onto the end of August so all the kids get an extra day in their summer holidays?  It's in February so now everyone that is still skint from Christmas has another extra day to be skint on, another day further away from payday.  My brain is so fried that I can’t be bothered to try and google that so if anyone has any answers, then let me know.  Do it in a really un-patronising way though please as it’s still early.

HAPPY LEAP DAY!  If anyone is doing any proposing or has been proposed to today, let me know – I love a good story about romance and I promise I won’t tell you it’s stupid! xx

 P.S Why is it when you google “leap year” there are lots of pictures of frogs?  What has a frog got to do with leap year, am I missing something there too?


*UPDATE* Yes I just got the frog thing, LEAP year.  Frogs leap. 


Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Celebrity Punch-a-Thon

Another random blog post for you, sorry but i'm in one of those moods today.  The other day I was watching tv and my eyes happened to be visually RAPED by the annoying cocksockets that are Jedward appearing on my tv.  This got me thinking about all the people I hate in the world (and there are loads) and if there was 1 person in the world I could punch in the face, who it would be.  This is really hard for me, there are literally so many to chose from.  I can’t sit through an hour of tv without someone coming on the screen and me going “OH MY GOD I HATE THEM”.  I have managed to whittle it down to the following 20, but I am sure there are thousands more...

Celebrities i’d like to punch in the head


Anthea Fucking Turner
 
Urh god he is such a fat shit!  Arg from TOWIE
 
Carol McGiffin - Just look at the fucking state of it


Carol Vorderman - if that's not a face that needs a
punch then I do not know what is
  

Helen Flanagan - words cannot describe the HATE


Jackie Goody - there are so many reasons


This picture does all the talking for me...
Jedward

Waaaaaaah I hate Jo Whiley!
  
What a total cock - Joey Barton

Standard - Justin Bieber
 
Urgh God - kerry Katona

Leann Rimes - look at her annoying face!


God this misog was always going to be in here wasn't she - Liz Jones


TWAT TWAT TWAT - Paul McCartney

Penelope Seabiscuit Cruz - worst voice ever

Ruth Langsford - oh just go away

Oh actually no Sarah Millican - worst voice ever

Dumb and Dumber, the whore twins from CBB

Last but not least, Vanessa Hudgens 
 just because

I found it really hard to pick 1 person who I want to injure more than anyone in that list above, but I did it.  We all know how much I totally hate Liz Jones, but I have ranted about her so much and will continue to do so, so I don’t really feel like I need to punch her (but if the offer was there I would clearly take it).  My Ultimate Celebrity I’d Like to Punch in the Head might well be.....  *drumroll* 


COURTNEY STODDEN

I don’t know why she is so hateful, she just is.  She struts around wearing practically nothing and basically wanks all over pumpkin patches while her desperado ancient husband just stands there like the cat that got the extremely young, gone off, rancid milk.  If there was one person in the world that was in dire need of a punch in the face, it has to be her!

Anyway, after sorting out my Most Hated Top 20, I managed to calm down enough to ask my Twitter followers who their most hated was, and these are the results:

@garethstrick – CJ Demooi from Eggheads right in the ovaries because he is so smug!
@mikestants – Carol Vorderman as she has a bad attitude and no one likes maths anyway
@Fitness_Warrior – Gary Neville, David from Corrie
@nikkithefish – Lee Evans
@wazdemus – Ed Sheeran because he is ginger
@Charlie_Donaghy – Natasha Giggs, Kate Moss, Jack Tweed, Twins from CBB
@JakeLunken212 – Greg Wallace
@JackDuignan_ Piers Morgan because he looks like a horrid c**t & belongs up a cows ars*hole.
@larryblack27 – Harry Hill
@richard11oyd – Carol the weather woman from BBC Breakfast, no reason.
@rikky_harris – Jeremy Kyle
@fee__ - Kay Burley
@wottington – Sarah Millican.  I’d want a run up as well.
@MissTartini – Lulu
@_gail__ - Jodie Marsh
@daryllayton – Jeff Stelling
@humpinpumpkin – Ant and Dec
@joeboyctp – Cliff Richard

And a few of my friends from Facebook:

Jody – Theresa May, or Chris Moyles
Gary – Natalie Cassidy as she has a head like a musk ox
Jodie S – Gino Di Campo as he is a vile pervert
Elton – Gary Glitter

But the rant of the day goes to my friend Jo who wrote the following:

@Dutchleopard – Sophie Ellis Bextor because her voice makes me cringe, she has a head like an alien, her paleness offends me, she wears ridiculous make up, her husband looks like a hobbit, her kids look like scrotal sacks and her jaw actually has corners, I need to stop now i’m getting angry.

If you haven’t already answered my question, who is your most hated person and why?  I LOVE reading everyones really angry responses to this question!  I'm going to go and flush my head down the toilet now though because getting all those pictures off the internet has given me epic rage!

Breast Is Best!

Morning campers!

Bit of a weird post today, but you’ll have to bear with me.  I had the usual mental weekend and because of this spent most of Sunday feeling like death – this is the only explanation I have for what i’m about to tell you.

Before I set the scene, lay the groundwork and try to dig myself out of this really weird hole, I just want to remind you of what I am like.  When I was about 15, my sister and I were sitting at home watching music on tv and we managed to get onto the subject of piercings.  I didn’t particularly want any piercings (apart from my lip but that’s because I was heading into my ‘grunger’ phase) but my sister basically ended up daring me to get my belly button pierced.  She said if I had it done she’d pay for it – I wasn’t remotely bothered and thought it would be funny so got my mum to drive us to the piercing place, and an hour later I had my belly button pierced.  I had it in for about a year but didn’t really like it so took it out after that and let it heal up.  I don’t mind doing stupid things for dares, as long as they aren’t life threatening... you only live once right?

Another thing you will need to know, is that I LOVE WATERMELON JUICE.  Watermelon is potentially the greatest fruit ever made (made?  Grown?  Dug up?  Whatever) and when I was in Ibiza with the girls last year the bar next to our hotel sold watermelon juice so that was all I ever drunk (straight during the day, spiked with vodka at night), and I got a bit obsessed with it.

This is all building up to Sunday.  I was at mine with my friend Charlie, and my sister is round with my niece Tilly and my new baby nephew Louie.  I am SO hungover I can barely function, after having a crazy drunk night and next to no sleep.  I was at that stage where I was just craving some health and something refreshing – fizzy drinks, ice lollies and fresh fruit wasn’t doing it for me.  My sister was bottle feeding my nephew some breast milk, when she made the passing comment that it supposedly tasted like Watermelon juice and she dared me to try some.  I am NOT funny about things like that, it would have been a different story if I had to tit her up to get some, but she squeezed a bit on a tea spoon (FROM THE BOTTLE BEFORE YOU ALL START) and I tried it – and it was AMAZING.  I don’t really know how to describe what it tasted like, it was quite thin but it tasted SO HEALTHY.  I can see why some people say it tastes like Watermelon juice, but the most overwhelming factor was that is just tasted so good for you.  It kind of tasted like the elixir of life, if you had something wrong with you or had broken your leg I can imagine someone drinking some breast milk and their leg just fixing itself like magic and knitting back together or something.

Anyway, I am aware this is all getting a bit weird, but my sister thought it was the funniest thing ever and Charlie was nearly sick when I tried it in front of her, and proceeded to put on Facebook and Twitter what I had done... the reaction was mixed, most people thought it was funny and gross and begged me to blog it so here it is, my confession – next time I am hungover I have a really bad feeling that I am going to be craving some breast milk...

Have you ever been in a similarly weird situation and tried some?  Do you think I am weird/mental?  I am going to hide now...



Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Not so Glossybox...

I have an important announcement to make.  It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave Glossybox.  I received what is now going to be my final box this morning and although I was swaying between liking the service and not really liking it, this is the final nail in the coffin for me.

The Glossybox could have been an awesome idea.  If most girls are anything like me, the idea of getting a lovely presented box in the post every month with 5 surprise beauty items is enough to send you into a frenzy.  Beauty products are my ‘thing’, I can’t go into Boots without picking up a lipstick or a nail varnish.  Like some girls are addicted to shoes or handbags, my addiction is little colourful bottles of lotions or limited edition lipsticks.  Nothing gives me a wide on like a brand new eyeshadow pallete (apart from maybe Dave Grohl).

By the sounds of it, Glossybox would have been perfect for me right?  I thought so too.  I ordered my first box and eagely anticipated it’s arrival.  I should have known Glossybox and I weren’t going to be compatible when my first box turned up a whole 8 days later than everyone elses.  You are wondering how I know it was 8 days later right?  Well, EVERY Blogger in the universe had received theirs, blogged about it and used the products before mine had even arrived.  I decided not to complain though, and just keep on receiving them.

The products were good, I enjoyed trying some of them out but I have NEVER received a product in a Glossybox that I would buy full size.  The only thing that even came close was the HD Brows palette which I was majorly impressed with.  This gave me a false impression of the boxes though, as I received that in my first ever Glossybox and was super impressed with that addition to the items.  That’s £28 to buy in the shops, and they’d plonked one right in the middle of my little £12 package!  Ever since that box though I have never received anything as impressive again.  I thought i’d persevere though, mainly because I like the excitement of not knowing what I am going to get and getting to play around with all the items when I get home.  Bearing in mind when you join Glossybox you write a list of all your preferences, things you’d like to receive, things you wouldn’t.  If you have ever read my Hair Nightmare post (here, if you’re interested) then you’ll know that I can’t put any old product in my hair.  I ALWAYS receive hair oils or treatments in my Glossyboxes, even though I said I wouldn’t like to receive them!

I had a box or two more and one of the creams in one of these boxes had leaked all over the box.  I didn’t realise it was normal for everyone to kick off at Glossybox when this happens, I assumed it was down to the postman being a bit heavy handed with the package.  Even so, that was one product I couldn’t use, but I just got over it because (as always) it was a product I wasn’t bothered about anyway...

So yesterday I received my latest Glossybox, LATE again... well, imagine my delight when I opened the box to find I only had 4 items L  I looked at the contents leaflet and 5 items were listed and the one item I was missing was the one I was looking forward to most (BM Beauty eyeshadow).  I’ve pretty much had enough of Glossybox so decided to email them and tell them everything that has happened to me.  They took a day to respond, and when they did respond they said they’d send me the BM Beauty eyeshadow, and they were sorry about all the other things that had happened since I signed up to them.  That was it.  No attempt to let me know how they are going to try and stop stuff like this from happening, nothing.  Just a sorry and end of.

So, it is after all this I have decided to cancel Glossybox.  They aren’t particularly helpful with anything when you have to contact them, their website is the slowest thing in the history of the world, the boxes aren’t packaged properly so you sometimes have breakages or leaks with the products, the products aren’t particularly great and now they even forget to put some of them in.  If you are fine with a relatively good service 80% of the time and you like the products in the previous boxes then get involved, but it’s just totally not worth the hassle for me.  I know the minute I cancel my subscription though they are going to send out a really amazing box and i’ll be gutted.  I’ll just console myself with the knowledge that even if I continued to receive them they’d probably do something stupid to my box or leave most of the items out.

It’s a shame Glossybox, you could have been so good...


Tuesday, 21 February 2012

BRIT Awards Predicitions

So i'm sitting here in my pjs, stuffing my face with a massive bar of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut and it just dawned on me that I hadn't blogged my BRITs predictions.  I know none of you will really give a shit, but if I do this tomorrow you'll just say that I clearly didn't make these predictions beforehand and have just reckoned that I got them all right.  This is purely to prove all you jel haters wrong :)

British Male Solo Artist
Ed Sheeran
James Blake
James Morrison
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
Professor Green

My predicted winner:  Ed Sheeran
Who I want to win:  Professor Green / Noel Gallagher

British Female Solo Artist
Adele
Flo and the Mo
Jessie J
Kate Bush
Laura Marling

My predicted winner:  Adele (she is going to win fucking everything)
Who I want to win:  Adele

British Breakthrough Act
Anna Calvi
Ed Sheeran
Emeli Sande
Jessie J
The Vaccines

My predicted winner:  Jessie J
Who I want to win:  The Vaccines

British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Chase & Status
Coldplay
Elbow
Kasabian

My predicted winner:  Chase & Status
Who I want to win:  KASABIAN or Coldplay

British Single
Adele - Someone Like You
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Example - Changed The Way You Kissed Me
Jessie J Ft Bob - Price Tag
JLS Ft Dev  -She Makes Me Wanna
Military Wives - Wherever You Are
Olly Murs Ft Rizzle Kicks - Heart Skips a Beat
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Pixie Lott - All About Tonight
The Wanted - Glad You Came

My predicted winner:  Adele - Someone Like You
Who I want to win:  One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful CLEARLY

Mastercard British Album of the Year
Adele - 21
Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto
Ed Sheeran - +
Florence and the Machine - Ceremonials
PJ Harvey - Let England Shake

My predicted winner:  Adele - 21
Who I want to win:  Adele - 21

International Male Solo Artist
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Bruno Mars
David Guetta
Ryan Adams

My predicted winner:  David Guetta
Who I want to win:  Bruno Mars (best of a bad bunch!)

International Female Solo Artist
Beyonce
Bjork
Feist
Lady Gaga
Rhianna

My predicted winner:  Rhianna
Who I want to win:  Beyonce

International Group
Fleet Foxes
Foo Fighters
Jay Z / Kanye West
Lady Antebellum
Maroon 5

My predicted winner:  Jay Z/ Kanye West
Who I want to win:  Foo Fighters CLEARLY

International Breakthrough Act
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Foster The People
Llana Del Ray
Nicki Minaj

My predicted winner:  Llana Del Ray
Who I want to win:  Foster The People

All the other awards are totes boring so that's it for now... if you want to join in and play BRITS BINGO then make your own list in my comments section and the person with the most correct guesses will get a massive pat on the back...

Enjoy the show!

Friday, 17 February 2012

Cat Breading

I haven't really blogged this week as I have been super busy being inundated with flowers and cards from my many admirers (ahem) and have spent my spare time eating dinner, bathing and sleeping!

I'll be back on the ball next week, but for now to tide you over the last 3 hours of the working week here is some light entertainment.  Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you....

"Cat Breading"


















 Happy Weekend everyone! xx

Thursday, 16 February 2012

GOSH Cosmetics Click and Conceal*

One thing I do love is a good new concealer.  I normally rely on my trusty primer/foundation combination to cover up any imperfections but sometimes after a heavy weekend even a truckload of foundation can't cover the bags under my eyes.

I was sent a sample of the new Click and Concel concealer from GOSH.  I was sent a light, medium and dark and also the new Anti-redness concealer too.




I gave the light concealer to one of my work friends to try who is quite pale, and gave the dark concealer to one of my other friends who is constantly tanned so the colours were all appropriate for us.  I kept the medium and the anti-redness corrector for myself.



When I initailly tried the anti-redness corrector I had a bit of a mishap where I applied too much and ended up looking like shrek - the colour of it is a lovely mint green, so clearly has to be used very sparingly.  I found this worked quite well though, if you just use a little bit and rub it in and then put all of your make up over the top it did ensure my face was a lot more of a level colour, thus making my make up look better - ad I said before though, I use BB Cream from 17 and this does pretty much the same thing, so I wouldn't need to use both products. 

The concealer was very good.  When you initially put it on it's quite creamy and has a thick texture so it takes a bit of rubbing in, but it does a good job of covering my epic eyebags which is really saying something!


My eyebags before concealer

Bags concealed!!
I would definitely use the concealer again,  I like the fact it can easily be slipped into your make up bag for touch ups on nights out, and the clck function on the pen means it is very clean and tidy and doesn't create mess.

If you want to grab a Click and Conceal for yourself, either get down to Superdrug (it's only sold there, not available in Boots) or on Superdrug's website HERE.

NB:  Please note it goes without saying the photos have not been photoshopped.  I have filtered them to make them look better, but I didn't apply any touch up - what you see is genuinely what my bags looked like in real life, before and after!

Monday, 13 February 2012

Whitney Houston - Death of a Legend

I was out on Saturday night, and if you follow me on Twitter you will be more than well aware that I was VERY drunk.  We were all having a good night, ended in a bit of drama but what can you do... anyway, we got in the cab to go home and our regular cab driver Terry told us the horrible news that Whitney Houston had reportedly passed away.  He didn't know how or when, but he claimed it was true as that's why all the radio stations were caining her music (as they are now going to do for the next few weeks at least)

I don't know if it was because I was drunk or if I just genuinely wasn't that bothered, but I asked the usual questions, "how", "why" and that was it.  We continued the conversation we were having previously, got home and didn't really think about it again until I woke up this morning.  I think the reason for this is because although it is a great tragedy, part of me just feels like it was something inevitable, something that was always going to happen.  I have thought about this a lot today, and I have spent most of the day comparing this latest celebrity death to the death of Amy Winehouse.

Clearly I didn't know Amy personally, but I was genuinely gutted when she died.  I loved her music and I think the greatest tragedy about Amy Winehouse was that not only did everyone expect her death, but when it happened it wasn't through the causes everyone thought it was going to be.  Everyone assumed she'd die of a drug overdose, or something drug related - hell, she consumed enough coke in her time to keep Columbia out of the red for the next 50 years... Regardless of this, the thing that killed Amy was the willpower to stop.  She was told she can't quit cold turkey. the shock to her body by doing this would do her serious damage - she ignored it, determined to get better for her loved ones but it did do her damage.  Permanent damage.

Whitney Houston's death is similar to this.  She has endured a well publicised battle with crack cocaine amongst other Class A Narcotics, and she had entered rehab a number of times, just to come out a reformed character before falling back down the slippery slope into hardcore drug addiction again.  The rumours haven't been confirmed yet, but it's reported that Whitney went on a binge, ran herself a bath, climed in and accidentally drowned.  I find it hard to conjur up the same amount of sympathy as I had for Winehouse, because this was the actions of a drug addict, someone selfish, all consumed with her next fix and not of her daughter, her career, her life.  Her security and management team shouldn't have left her on her own if she was back taking heavy drugs - even if she was having a bath.  But ultimately, Whitney created the perfect storm for her own death.

Sure it can be argued Winehouse did the same, but the reason I had sympathy for her is because she tried to change.  She knew the damage she was doing to herself, to her family and she attepmted to stop.  Whitney has an astounding career, fame, wealth, family, children.  Some could say she had it all, but this still wasn't enough.

I know that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be and just because she had all what I listed above doesn't necessarily mean that she was happy, but I liken deaths like these to suicide.  Although she didn't purposly drown, she might as well have.  If it wasn't for her own personal actions, she wouldn't be dead today (and again, I know the same can be said for Amy Winehouse but it's the action of trying that makes a difference to me).

I don't want any of my opinion above to cloud the fact that she is a legend and will be greatly missed.  I know that, I know that she had thousands of fans, a back catalogue of some amazing songs, great films.  I know her death is a huge shame, devestating to everyone that knew her, upsetting for her fans.  The world lost an icon, a legend, a diva and there is nothing anyone can say to change that fact.  As i'm writing this I am watching The Bodyguard (scheduled post, I wrote this on Sunday night - sorry!) and she really had something special, a gift.  It's good that she got to share her gift with the world, that it wasn't wasted - but her life was clouded by awful periods of darkness, hitting rock bottom on more than one occasion - drugs, marriage troubles.  The Whitney Houston story shouldn't have been about that.  It's the same for everyone, everyone would like to be remembered for the things they were good at, the things they did well, the differences they made to the world.  Again, it's not the way it happens, the bad always outweighs the good in the eyes of the media - until someone dies.  Now Whitney is going to be portrayed as some sort of saint in all the papers tomorrow.  Everyone paying tribute to the woman they love, the woman they either knew or think they knew.  Everyone will forget about the drug addict, the woman blighted with problems. 

If that's the way it has to be, then that's the way it has to be.  It's such a shame, and hopefully now she can rest in peace and not be tormented by whatever it was that drove her to her drug binges in the first place.  Rest in Peace Whitney, didn't you almost have it all...


Nailene Fake Nails and Ultra Tabs* Review

Sometimes, just sometimes, I don't have time to paint my nails.  I know, shock horror - but i'm BUSY ok?

Anyway, I used to wear fake nails a lot as I used to bite my natural ones and have horrible horrible bleeding stumpy miniscule fingernails.  That was before I got horrifically ill in Egypt, causing me to become a reformed character and refuse to bite my nails anymore.  This lead to me opening myself up to the beautiful world of shit loads of nail varnish.

Anyway, I used to go to the bog standard nail shop and get one of the lovely chinese ladies there to put gel tips on.  Looked nice (if not a bit Essex) and lasted a while.  All was great until you took them off and saw the actual state of your nails underneath.  Another option were the temporary fake nails on sale in Boots etc that you put on yourself with glue.  All good for 1 night but anymore than that and they just wouldn't last, pinging off at really inappropriate moments (or if you are me into a glass of water claimed by the person who was interviewing me for a new job - not good).

So, as I said I now have long nails so don't ever really need to use fake nails, but I was curious.  I was sent a full set of the Nailene Studio Nails to try from the lovely Nic at Sparkle PR, along with a set of the Nailene Ultra Adhesive Tabs to stick them on with.




I have a bit of trouble painting my nails, I am not the cleanest person in the whole world so it's a bit of an ordeal for me.  I have to paint them and then clean all the nail varnish off from around my fingers etc, so these nails were welcome as I knew I could put them on and my hands would instantly look perfect.  I was sent a pack of nails that were already painted red, so all I had to do was apply them and they'd be ready.



I thought this would be a bit of a struggle, but I was super impressed.  There are 24 nails in the pack in a range of sizes so you can make sure you have ones that fit your fingers.  The red was a lovely colour, and I liked the shape of the nails, quite square and not massively long.  The tabs were the things that I thought were AMAZING though.  I wasn't sure if they were going to work very well but they were brilliant.  You literally peel them off a sheet and stick the sticky side onto your nail - then you pull off a clear bit of plastic on the top of the tab and then just push the nail down onto it once the tab is on your fingers... basically they are like little bits of double sided rubbery sticky tape.  They are super easy to apple and super sticky - the minute the nails were on they didn't budge at all and felt really secure, like they weren't going to fall off.  I had to file the nails down slightly as they were still a bit too long for me and I was finding it hard to type, but a small nail file was supplied in the kit which was another touch I really liked!


I took some nail glue to work with me the following day just in case, but those tabs are BRILLIANT.  I applied these nails on a Monday night, and I had to TAKE THEM OFF on Saturday and they were still showing no signs of falling off at all.  I did wonder if the tabs were going to ruin my nails as they are super sticky, but even taking them off was brilliant.  There are instructions on how to remove them properly but I kind of did it my own way, so probably did it wrong.  I just lifted the nail up with a cuticule stick and pinged it off (most of them were hard work as they were still 100% stuck).  Once the nail was off you just rub your fingernail from bottom to top and the tab kind of sticks to your finger and you can just pull it off!  Once I did that I just went over each nail with a bit of nail varnish remover on a cotton wool pad just to get rid of the stickiness, but it really wasn't that bad and there was literally no trace of the tabs on my nails at all.


I wasn't really fussed about fake nails before, but having experienced just how easy and quick they are to put on (the thing that used to put me off before was the messiness of the glue), how long they last and how perfect your nails look I would definitely consider using these again.  I was a bit wary of leaving these nails on too long as I was worried they would make my own nails fairly weak underneath, but again they were fine when I took them off.
If you are going to an event or know you need nice nails with minimum fuss and effort, then I totally suggest using these.  The mini nail file was a nice touch and I had lots of comments on my nails and people asking where I had got them done - they were shocked when I said i'd done them myself at home in about 10 minutes!  I'd definitely use these nails again, it's just so easy!

If you want to get some for yourself, head over to Nailene's website HERE or go to Boots and nab some for yourself.. oh, and get me another set while you're at it :)

xx