Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Breast Is Best!

Morning campers!

Bit of a weird post today, but you’ll have to bear with me.  I had the usual mental weekend and because of this spent most of Sunday feeling like death – this is the only explanation I have for what i’m about to tell you.

Before I set the scene, lay the groundwork and try to dig myself out of this really weird hole, I just want to remind you of what I am like.  When I was about 15, my sister and I were sitting at home watching music on tv and we managed to get onto the subject of piercings.  I didn’t particularly want any piercings (apart from my lip but that’s because I was heading into my ‘grunger’ phase) but my sister basically ended up daring me to get my belly button pierced.  She said if I had it done she’d pay for it – I wasn’t remotely bothered and thought it would be funny so got my mum to drive us to the piercing place, and an hour later I had my belly button pierced.  I had it in for about a year but didn’t really like it so took it out after that and let it heal up.  I don’t mind doing stupid things for dares, as long as they aren’t life threatening... you only live once right?

Another thing you will need to know, is that I LOVE WATERMELON JUICE.  Watermelon is potentially the greatest fruit ever made (made?  Grown?  Dug up?  Whatever) and when I was in Ibiza with the girls last year the bar next to our hotel sold watermelon juice so that was all I ever drunk (straight during the day, spiked with vodka at night), and I got a bit obsessed with it.

This is all building up to Sunday.  I was at mine with my friend Charlie, and my sister is round with my niece Tilly and my new baby nephew Louie.  I am SO hungover I can barely function, after having a crazy drunk night and next to no sleep.  I was at that stage where I was just craving some health and something refreshing – fizzy drinks, ice lollies and fresh fruit wasn’t doing it for me.  My sister was bottle feeding my nephew some breast milk, when she made the passing comment that it supposedly tasted like Watermelon juice and she dared me to try some.  I am NOT funny about things like that, it would have been a different story if I had to tit her up to get some, but she squeezed a bit on a tea spoon (FROM THE BOTTLE BEFORE YOU ALL START) and I tried it – and it was AMAZING.  I don’t really know how to describe what it tasted like, it was quite thin but it tasted SO HEALTHY.  I can see why some people say it tastes like Watermelon juice, but the most overwhelming factor was that is just tasted so good for you.  It kind of tasted like the elixir of life, if you had something wrong with you or had broken your leg I can imagine someone drinking some breast milk and their leg just fixing itself like magic and knitting back together or something.

Anyway, I am aware this is all getting a bit weird, but my sister thought it was the funniest thing ever and Charlie was nearly sick when I tried it in front of her, and proceeded to put on Facebook and Twitter what I had done... the reaction was mixed, most people thought it was funny and gross and begged me to blog it so here it is, my confession – next time I am hungover I have a really bad feeling that I am going to be craving some breast milk...

Have you ever been in a similarly weird situation and tried some?  Do you think I am weird/mental?  I am going to hide now...

1 comment:

  1. Reading that is bringing it all back, I feel sick again!! Don't forget your brother in law said it was incest, factoid x